Spreading the love

So, I have this notebook that I keep, and in this  notebook, all the people who matter to me have a page with their name written on the very top, and on their page, I write all the wonderful things that I think and love about that person but never tell them.  

Its a little project I started in order to force myself to really examine the thoughts I have about the people in my life, and my relationship with them. As I sat there looking at the names of all these people, who mean so much to me in various ways, I started to wonder how often I actually say any of these nice things to them.  Its so easy to insult someone, or make a snide comment, or just get lost in the negativity of the small things that bother you day in and day out about a person, that I think we lose sight of the fact that people need to hear the nice things too.  Even if we think them and truly feel them, if its only negative/sarcastic comments that roll off the tongue, I think we're cheating ourselves and them of feeling that happiness and security that comes with knowing you are valued.  I'm not saying profess your undying love, but that so often we just assume ' they know', and maybe they do, on a level, know that we love them, but whats the harm in saying it?  If you've ever been involved in a program, think of it this way:  Have you ever had a coach or instructor that ONLY told you what you were doing wrong, and eventually it felt so exhausting and tiring, and as if you weren't doing anything right at all? This is what its like in all your daily interactions. It comes in all those sighs of exhaustion, the eye rolls, the small moments of annoyance because we're familiar and things that we'd perhaps over look with another person, we allow to bother us.  Those sarcastic comments add up when they're the only things that come out of your mouth, and slowly but surely will beat a person down.

sayinggoodbye.org

Perhaps its a bit too early and i'm a bit too tired to try to phrase these thoughts properly, but I was thinking back on how from the very beginning, we're kind of groomed by society to not show affection as openly as we do negativity.  Brass, loud actions of aggression are supported ( think how sports/athletics are celebrated, for a general example) whereas things that involve expression are often cut out of programs, slashed in the budget, and just not as celebrated (art, theater, music programs)...  from as early as elementary school, a classic form of teasing is "ooOoooOoo, you like so and so!", as if finding someone enjoyable is a bad thing.  Again, i'm perhaps too groggy to try to really explain how these are all connected but i'm hoping that me getting these thoughts out are at least getting it rolling in other peoples heads.  Imagine how different a nation we would be if we valued the arts just as much (at least!) as we do our sports programs. 

So...yeah. I don't have a nice little bow to tie this up with, just some thoughts.  I'm trying to actively work on this though...sharing my thoughts with those that matter to me.  So far its really weirding people out, which is both amusing and just going to show that my thoughts are correct on this, starting with family.